The Errant Abbot

Thug, err, umm Monk Life

Food for thought: My favorite question I’ve ever been asked (and it comes up frequently) is “Is that monk stuff?” Tell me what’s more monastic, buying a $250 tailor made grey Korean cuffed jumpsuit that makes mothers pull their children away in public places (true story) or a $12 blue jean and button down outfit from the goodwill? For me, the heart of the dharma rests (or perhaps is active in) meeting people where they are, and in thus living an ordinary, mundane yet present and responsible life. Personally, I have no interest in changing or encouraging others to change their culture (and thus language, dress, diet and social norms), or to to remove themselves from our inherent position as dictated by evolutionary biology as social pack creatures, by living in solitude. 

The Zen way is to wake up to our lives as they are, not to create an alternate reality wherein problems are seemingly less likely to arise, but rather to do as Master Kyong Ho and other eminent personalities have suggested and make good medicine and practice of the suffering and problems that arise in our day to day. 

For me, being a monk means taking full refuge in reality as it unfurls, abiding in the monastery of the world, and being with people in ordinary situations as a force of compassion, presence, love and service. It means living the dharma, moment-by-moment in an organic and unforced, non-contrived way. 

If we have nothing to offer the world but a call to a shaven head, solitude, drab garb, mystical ceremonies (arcane often even through interpretation in native tongue), and a divorce from the ol’ regular reality of life, then we dont have much to offer at all. 

The Zen way is about waking up to THIS moment and to THIS life. Many will disagree, but as for me, I have no capacity for understanding anything more than this one point, as unrefined and plain as it may seem. And in this, I prefer to stay close to the ground, surveying the soil and living with what’s there- leaving the pyramid building and mystical spiritual work to those more mentally apt. The so-called ground work is tall enough an order for me in this lifetime :-) ~thich duc tam

Zen Life

A Zen life, means a life of authenticity, a life of presence and ordinariness, a life of simplicity and service, of non-reactivity and of great love- nothing more, and nothing less. We practice to find our center so that we may go forth in our mundane lives, living as all people do, and therein finding our refuge. The alchemy of the Zen process is not one of relinquishing so-called lay life, but of being able to engage it fully in a mode of service, which defines the place of refuge vows and ordination precepts. ~thich duc tam

Dharma Glasses

In a way, the dharma can be likened to corrective lenses. Like glasses, the dharma has the ability to refine, restore and enhance our vision from degradation but also further blur and cloud our perception- the trick is finding the appropriate prescription, which differs for every person, and can change over time.

With clouded and blury vision, we have a tendency to perceive “unsatisfactoryness” or dukkha, and when we are able to clear up our vision we are more apt to perceive transcendce, that is, wonder and bliss- nirvana, even from the same circumstance.

The core of Dukkha and Nirvana, suffering and its cessation is not seperate, and not distinct. Phenomenal happening, is just that (we sometimes call this “subject just like this”), only bifurcated by conceptual thought. With blurred vision we tend to focus on the halo created around reality by our skewed perception, and with clarity we focus on the essence and core.

Putting down labels we find the truth, and can thus refine our function in relationship to our situations with ease.

~thich duc tam

Breathing As Practice

Breath follows mind and mind follows breath. Uniquely, our breathing is both governed by our subconscious (autonomic nervous systems) and our concious thoughts. Left alone, breathing responds in accord with the state of our minds and the conditions of our bodies; consciously regulated however, we may calm the mind and overcome the conditions of our bodies with the breath.

Finding the seat of the breath can be a profound segue into meditative practice: breathing in, breathing out- what is this? :)

~thich duc tam

Questions and Answers

We must be diligent in our personal practice, and not fall prey to the stagnation and malaise of LARPing (live action role playing) to a “Buddhist” or “Zen” lifestyle. Those mala beads around our wrists have no meaning if they’re not calling us back to this very moment, and/or regularly being chanted upon to cut through our thinking. Those kasa/rakusu around our necks and robes gracing our shoulders have no value if the precepts, vows and responsibilities they represent aren’t regularly coming up as points of struggle, or at the very least, mindful engagement.

Moment by moment where are our minds? What is the truth? Who am “I”? This grand questioning is key, and for this great work of freedom and liberation there is no time to spare.

Coming to the Zen center once a week, listening to a dharma talk or chatting and speculating on the teachings is/are not near enough to constitute considering oneself a Zen student, and living a “lay life” is no excuse for lackadaisical engagement.

Practicing when life is somewhat “normal and well” is such a privilege, and one unwise to squander- sooner than later things become awaredly undone…then what? Likely if we’re answering that question, more work is required; what is this?

May we all wake up and help each other continually cultivate lucidity.

May we all find more questions and silence than answers and concepts.

~thich duc tam

Wisdom, Maturity and Love

Wisdom isn’t knowing it all, it’s knowing we know nothing; maturity isn’t doing what we want, it’s doing what’s required; love isn’t truly manifest when everything is going our way, rather it’s when it pervades through our f*ck ups, our lapses of wisdom and maturity for ourselves and most importantly others. ~thich duc tam

Keeping A Great Question

Once our practice takes root in our lives, as we come to abide in dharma there no longer any question of keeping a great question, nor of struggle or strife; when our minds become focused on the truth, and wisdom springs from our hearts through the contents of our minds meshing with that of reality, sanity appears.

Sanity is perceiving reality as it is, accepting it, and further being able to respond appropriately to it when necessary. Being present with both our joyous and jubilant experience as with our downtrodden and painful experience, in sanity, no longer is the “self” prodded along by emotional responses and conceptual (ir)rationalisms, but rather with a true understanding of the nature of the aggregate self, we come to steward every aspect of our lives with a great sense of centeredness and calm, wherein even amidst tears, fears and physical degradation a sense of transcendent stillness and okayness rests, unshakingly so.

Just talking about this is okay, perhaps it can be a motivation and call to fervent practice and yet we mustn’t become caught up in goal oriented contemplative activity and inquiry. We must try our best to only practice- when any thought, measurement, assurance or doubt arises that’s okay (not good and not bad), simply we must set it aside without judgement and return to this very moment as often as possible. Even if judgement arises, just set it aside.

The process itself need not be complex- simply moment by moment we hold this question: “what is this?” Then what do we see, what do we hear, smell, taste, feel/touch and think? Perhaps green grass, blue sky! Maybe angry thought, painful sensation, or appreciation and wonder! At some point maybe labels fail and we can only muster up a don’t know! All of these things are okay, and with each of them we only return to “what is this?”

As we become comfortable with keeping this great question, as our bodies and minds come to internalize this mode of present minded meditative inquiry we may add another portion to the practice, along the lines of Mahatma Gandhi’s great direction to the Bodhisattva path of “lose yourself in the service of others” with following our attainment of reality through “what is this?” with “how can I help you?”

Just as our “what is this?” only elicits a focused mind response, so too does our “how can I help you?” Note that the practice is not “how can I help you and how and you respond?” or “how can I help you and what can I get?” This practice is one rooted in selfless service, not return on investments. When our answer appears and opportunities to be of service arise, we only do it, we only try!

Gradually the chaff falls away, and our center appears, yielding a bold engagement of our lives as a balanced and calm presence in this world, and yet we’ll find ourselves shaken. Through finding our center, however we become able to, each time we falter from it, quickly return, with a trend of more ease and expedience upon each settling back down.

There are many tools such as formal sitting meditation, chanting and mantra practice, koans, bowing and walking meditation, sutra reading, dharma talks and formal relationships with a teacher that can enhance greatly our practice, and each are valid means of awakening. However, we must maintain a practice of present minded engagement of reality moment-by-moment, and thus regardless of what practice(s) resonate with our hearts, it’s essential that we carrying them through the midst of every day, every situation life, and in doing so our lives naturally clear up.

~thich duc tam

Every second of our lives is Dharma, there’s no need to construct or add anything special. When we can learn to take refuge, that is shelter and shield in our lives just as they are, nothing is problematic. This point is unaffected by how we feel, what we own, how much money we make or what we have to eat; Zen is a method a transcendence, that is, a path of true freedom and true liberation that abides in all things just as they are. Please try, try, try so we may all find this point and gift the world a most valuable offering- living a simple, ordinary, present and compassionate life. ~thich duc tam

How to be free

It’s not that everything happens for a reason, but that reason can be forged from everything. It’s not that life is a series of lessons, but that lessons can be learned from every series of happenings.

We’re miraculously, or perhaps rather mundanely born into this highly evolved, self-aware sentience, in which our cognizant states need not be as they are the only possibility, nay wherein transcendence may be manifest and we thus proactively set free.

This world is set alight, inescapable to you and me- and yet in the midst of constant blaze, liberation awaits those who can learn to just let things be.

When both left and right, up and down are found to source no relief, where is there yet to go, illumining deliverance from our beliefs?

Make the road narrow or let the path be wide, every step is a new unfathomed direction plunging into a cooling ocean tide.

What spark can light the ocean, and what drop of dew smother the flames of hell? With the universe in every atom, it doesn’t so much matter but that we pick any one.

Even the Bodhisattva seeks kindred eyes, if only to the marrow we could learn to see, everyone just as they appear marches with perfect camaraderie.

~thich duc tam

No such thing as enlightenment!

There really is no one thing that can be called “enlightenment”, even amongst Zen circles there is so much divisive speech concerning this or that methodology, and criticism of this or that teacher, school or organization and the quality of their realization, always boiling down to, as Zen Master Seung Sahn might have put it, attachment in the form of “my idea is correct”. In the aggregate phenomena that we all hint to as “enlightenment” what does seem common to me anyway, is a trend moving toward an ever increasing non-dual worldview, a life a lessened reactivity and a greater propensity toward love, expanding inclusivity, and present rooted awareness. Perhaps interacting and perceiving along the full continuum of each of these aforementioned qualities, we can begin to do as Suzuki Roshi so aptly put and manifest a life of “enlightened actions” and encourage that in others, rather than trying to compartmentalize an us and them as “enlightened people”, after all, even Buddhas blink! Peace my friends! ~thich duc tam